A Useless, Rambling Post

[Note:  I have actually begun a handful of diatribes on a variety of topics that will greatly interest you!  However, tonight I've decided to just offer you a "Useless, Rambling Post"(tm)  For No Good Reason! - aren't those the best?]

Hi, I'm Hunter.

You may know me from such shows as "So You Wanna Be A Robot" and "Life In The Faster Lane!", or perhaps my epic campaign against Mutual of Omaha (I thought it had something to do with what they were putting in the beef).

Currently, as you will soon learn, I am walking through a Superconductor.  All around me are protons and neutrons and flying squirrels traveling at, or near, the speed of light.

Soon, they will smash into each other with the force of the Big Band (I'm doing my little finger quotes around that, if you watch on the monitor).  The Big Bang (with finger quotes again, said twice for emphasis).

If all goes well, it will create a miniature microcosm universe that will give us enough space for all future generations of greedy Earthlings to live and thrive.  Especially those of us in the United States, where the average person weighs about four times that of a typical Asian.

Speaking of Asians, if you look to the East.  No, the Far East, you will see the noodle factory.  I always wanted to work in the noodle factory, but I had problems getting my big hands in the tiny little grinders to pull out each grain of rice individually.  Rumor has it they are genetically engineering a superrace that is only 2 feet tall but has a sixteen foot wingspan.

Did I say Wingspan?  Why yes!  Because if you act now, you can fly on Ultrasonogramophobic Space Adventures(tm) where you and a party of up to eight of your friends (or randomly selected people we choose to sit you with) will fly through the outer cloud banks and straight into space!  That's right!  If you think it's cold in Wisconsin, wait until you see what happens when we put little Billy in the "Space Cowboy" chair on the wing.  And they said his MOM was frigid!

The problem with Cowboys and Indians is that, as we all know now (unless you were born after 1980 and went to public school) that it is incorrect.  While I don't think it should be changed to be politically correct (and socially denigrating) and use "Cowboys and Native Americans".  Instead, my plan is to use advanced digital film editing to change every Western to use true Indians (like Ghandi).  Nothing will be better than seeing those battles.  Just imagine those shootouts of wild, wild cowboys against the Satyagraha Indians.  Now that's good cinema.

Finally, that brings us around to Hollwood!  When Pulp Fiction came out, think of how many kids were influenced to a fulfilling life of gun-toting assassins drugged out on cocaine.  Pulp Fiction even offered education on how to inject adrenaline into your heart in case of an overdose.  What are kids learning now?  In school?  Hmmm.  I don't know.  I don't have any children.  Nor do I want any, thanks - I gave at the office.  Passing around children cats, free to a good home, sheesh.

My point is, the value of cinema as art on abject life can be a surprising, quality education.  This is not the time to say "Our children should not watch violence and sex at the movies, or in their video games".  Come on, that's just being naive.  Kids today have no chance living on the street, or crackhouse, without the education that the movies, cable, and video games can offer.  Sure, sure, your kids gonna be a lawyer, or President.  But the lawyer will need to have the knowledge to defend (or sentence to death!) their peers of the "crack ho" type.  As for the President.  Well, do I need to say more than to look at our most current example.  Movie education, violence, sex, and drugs are the key to the future generation!

Anyway, I've gone on for far too long and now the people that run this show are waving and screaming at me from off camera.  Some of them are making little slit throat movements with their fingers.  How cute is that?!  Until next time, I'm Hunter Cole, your host here in Fantasy Internet Land.  And I bid you adieu!

-Hunter

Have you been able to get publish? You have a really great since of humor. I would describe it as, well, dry and subtle with a hint of rosemary for flavor. You crack me up. You would do so well with humorous space novels

Wow, that was almost profound. Have a great day!

Check-out: www.blogger.com/profile/8790577

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